The bookmark was still on July 3rd
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Happy September!
I’m ashamed to admit this, but it’s been a while since I spent time with God…
In fact, when I finally opened my daily devotion on the 27th August, the bookmark was resting on July 3rd, so it had been exactly 8 weeks since I spent time with God.
The reason I’m ashamed to admit this is because if you’ve been following me for a while, you’ll know I’m such a big advocate for spending time with God. It’s the very reason the Draw Near journal exists. And if that wasn’t enough to convict me, this month’s theme in the Living a Purposeful Life® planner is Cultivating Biblical Habits, with the first habit being to seek Him first, daily. I quite literally wrote the plan on building consistent time with God. Yet here I am, the one who encourages everyone else, struggling to do the very thing I so often talk about.
It’s not that I haven’t been speaking to God, I’ve been speaking to Him daily. Whilst I’m driving, whilst I’m cleaning, whilst I’m walking around the house. But speaking to God in passing is very different to truly drawing near to Him, sitting at His feet and being still long enough to let Him pour into me.
I could make all the excuses in the world as to why I’m not spending time with God, and to be fair, they would be valid ones. I’m a mum of 3 children under 8, including a 10 month old who wakes what feels like 1000 times a night. I’ve just survived the chaos of the summer holidays, I’m studying my master’s degree, and I’m preparing to return to work. On paper, it sounds like there’s simply no time left to spend with God. And yet, somehow, I always seem to find time to scroll on social media. In fact, I daren’t even look at my screen time, because deep down I know the truth. If I have time for that, then I certainly have time to spend with God.
So the real question is not whether I have the time, it’s why I’m not making it. Why is it that I can find time for everything else, but not for Him? When did spending time with God start to feel like a chore rather than a joy? Is it really about time, or has spending time with my Heavenly Father simply stopped being my priority?
But here’s the beautiful thing. Even in the midst of all these questions, God isn’t angry with me. He isn’t waiting to punish me the moment I return. Quite the opposite. He’s waiting with open arms, ready to embrace me the moment I draw near again. And that’s exactly what I found when I finally sat down with Him again. He welcomed me back as though no time had passed at all.
Here’s a snippet from the daily devotion I read when I finally sat down with Him, titled “A Journey of Repentance”…
“1 John 2:1: ‘if anyone does sin, we have an advocate with the Father, Jesus Christ the righteous’… We still miss the mark; we will fail to reach God’s standard… so we seek to live in obedience, and yet, since we will not do so perfectly, we must also live in repentance to our Lord…”
Now of course, neglecting to spend time with God isn’t a sin, at least not in the way we typically think of sin. But the word ‘sin’ simply means to miss the mark. And not spending time with God is certainly missing the mark of the journey I’ve been called to walk as a purpose-driven Christian woman.
And so, there is only one solution. The same one that is so freely offered to us every time we fall short - repentance. It means changing my mind about the belief that I don’t have time, and turning back to making quiet time with God the priority it always should have been.
And if you’re reading this and you’ve been feeling the same way, whether it’s been 8 weeks, 8 months, or longer, I want you to know this. He isn’t angry with you either. There’s no guilt or condemnation waiting for you. Just the same open arms that welcomed me back too. You might not do it perfectly every time, but it isn’t about doing it perfectly. It’s about doing it consistently, because that’s when we truly grow into the women God has called us to be.
And that’s exactly what this month is all about. September’s theme is Cultivating Biblical Habits, because spiritual growth doesn’t happen by accident. It grows through the small, consistent habits that keep us connected to God. So I’ve written a brand new blog on how to build those habits, why God cares more about consistency than intensity, and the simple daily practices that will draw you closer to Him.
If my story resonated with you today, this blog is the perfect next step. 🤍
👉 Read the blog here: Cultivating Biblical Habits
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